


Rude

by Your_Everyday_Fangirl



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Domestic goodness, Hannigram - Freeform, M/M, PBJ Sandwiches, Punishments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 15:48:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9079255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Your_Everyday_Fangirl/pseuds/Your_Everyday_Fangirl
Summary: Will's been rather rude lately, something that hasn't gone unnoticed by Hannibal. But what's the best punishment for him? TIny bit of a crack!fic. Oblivious Wills and frustrated Hannibals galore.





	

Hannibal was preparing dinner, the meat of the day given by an exceedingly arrogant man who had dared to try and steal money from his pocket. Armed only with a knife no less. In the end at least the man had had the courtesy to lead them to a private alley. Nothing was seen.

As he sliced carrots, he went back to his earlier musings.

Rude. Will had been rude today. Granted, he was rude most days, but todays’ actions went past the limits.  
But how to let him know that what he had done and said were unacceptable in the perfect world Hannibal had worked so hard to create? With others it was simple, his punishment brutal and quick. A slash here, a nip there. A light that didn’t deserve to shine snuffed out. Hours later, there would be a mouth watering feast at the table, steaming hot and ready for eating. 

As much as he wanted to taste the succulent flesh of his dear Will, bite down and savor the sweet-smelling skin that was finally rid of that horrid aftershave, he couldn’t. Will had finally shed the walls he had kept between himself and the monster. Now he was finally able to see the world through Hannibal’s eyes, could finally see the beauty in the sharp redness of blood. So no, eating Will was off the table.  
In addition to that, he didn’t want to stain the tablecloth. It was imported from Italy.

So what to do? He could go with the direct approach. But he was bored. And watching the thoughts slowly enter Will’s mind, the panic as he realized something was not quite all right was much more fun. Watching him try to solve the problem even more so. The empathy he had was amazing, but Hannibal could build up walls nukes couldn’t budge.   
And after he found out what the problem was, the way he apologized was… desirable. 

Hannibal was interrupted by the sound of the door opening, and feet thudding across the floor. A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, thoughts of punishment pushed to the back of his mind. There would be time for that later. 

“Hannibal, you there?” Will called out. The sound of footsteps, louder this time. And all of a sudden, there was Will in all his glory.   
Hannibal marveled at the sight before him, the man that managed to pull off even the simplest clothes with class. He had thick brown boots on, covered from ankle up by worn jeans. A blue button up went over the whole ensemble, bringing everything together nicely. The sleeves were rolled up to about an inch below his elbows showing lean forearms. A week’s worth of stubble covered his chin, the effect of using cheap plastic razors. It suited him, Hannibal supposed, even though he usually found the presence of facial hair scruffy. Will wore it well. Then his eyes went up, to the mess of brown curls that covered the kind of face Renaissance artists would kill to sculpt, over and over again. His sharp blue eyes stared at Hannibal, meeting his gaze steadily. 

Full lips pulled back over pearly white teeth and Will barked out a laugh, eyes crinkling in amusement. 

“So are you done eye raping me?”

Hannibal looked at him in dry exasperation. “I am simply looking at your state of dress. Have you ever considered wearing something a bit more formal? I thought a tie was required at your university.”

Will scoffed. “ Rules like that only exist in the world you have created Hannibal. Luckily for us mere mortals, you have the patience to not smite us all.” He smiled, reaching for an apple. 

Hannibal simply stared at him, unimpressed. Will’s smile stretched even wider, if that was possible. “So who’s for dinner?”  
“An arrogant pig that tried to take on more than it was ready for. Apparently I was an old rich bastard that had it easy his entire life, and needed to be taught suffering”

Will winced. Must have been a bad one if Hannibal was angered enough to swear. Poor guy. Will almost felt sorry for him, but the smells coming from the pan were nice changes compared to the dry, dusty air of classrooms and hallways. 

“Did he at least have a gun with him?”

Hannibal’s voice went even colder. “He had the audacity to only wield a kitchen knife, as if our roles were reversed, and I played the pig while he was the butcher.”

Will could almost hear Jack’s voice on the phone, barely contained rage in place as he told him about the next victim of the Chesapeake Ripper. 

“And dear uncle Jack will come running to me. Thank you for that.”

“If he can not move forward in this case, or form a profile of the killer without your help, he is extremely out of his depth.”

“Everyone is out of their depths compared to you Hannibal.” Will snorted, tossing the apple core in the waste bin. He headed over to the sink and washed his hands.

“Anything I can help you with?” 

“I am just about done with preparations, but a little company would be preferable.” 

He smiled and opened the fridge, pulling out a beer. They continued on in comfortable silence. While Will drank, Hannibal cooked. The quiet was broken after a few more minutes.

“So how was your work today Will? Anything of significance?”

“No. Jack was cooped up in his office all day, and the class was the same as usual. The only event that stood out was lunch.” He sighed a little exasperatedly. “Hannibal, there’s no need to prepare those pristine gourmet meals. The department isn’t as incompetent as you think. Pretty soon, even Zeller will be able to figure out you’re cooking for me.”

“Nonsense. That ridiculous piece of meat your university attempts to call food is most certainly not palatable. You will eat things that give you true nourishment and life. The preparation of food is an art not to be taken lightly.”

Will gave him an unimpressed look. “It’s just human flesh Picasso. Although I do have to admit, eating your food is akin to the feeling of reaching the heavens. I have yet to meet a chef that can rival your culinary expertise.”

And that was it. Hannibal had finally found a suitable punishment for Will’s rudeness. But was it worth it? This punishment was unnecessarily cruel, and he didn’t want to completely form a rift between the two of them. If somebody did it to him, his or her death would be on the top of his mental to do list.   
Nonetheless, he would do it. Will needed to be taught manners, and if he failed to live up to Hannibal’s own standards, there would be a price to pay. 

“Thank you for that. But all my meals are prepared with utmost care, and inspired by many things. A person just needs to find those things.”

“Cocky bastard. There’s no hiding the smug smile that rests on your face.” 

Hannibal simply raised an eyebrow at him. He set food on the table, delicately pronouncing their complicated names. 

“Today we are having Skilandis. It is a Lithuanian dish, the stomach of a pig stuffed with meat and garlic.” 

Will smiled and said “What, no sauce? Do you not find this pig worthy enough to have company as it is slowly devoured?”

Hannibal eyes flashed a dark red. “No. This pig barely deserves the honor of being put in your stomach.”

Will sighed and started to eat, slicing the meat carefully and putting it in his mouth. The rest of dinner was like what usually took place, casual conversation filling in the silence, the main topics of Hannibal’s creations and Will’s progress with Jack. After that, they went upstairs and bleep bleep bleeepppp (Sorry for the lack of frick fracking).

The next morning, Hannibal was the first to wake. He carefully got up and put on his clothes, turning around to look at Will before he left the room.   
His curly hair was strewn about his face, a few locks shifting every now and then as he breathed in and out. All the stress and worry of the past few months had melted away, leaving in its place the face of an angel. Granted, he was angel that ate people, but he was still an angel in Hannibal’s eyes.   
The lean muscles of his back were exposed, white bed sheets only just covering the parts that needed to be covered. Hannibal smiled a little, and then softly closed the door.

When Will had woken up, the smell of breakfast had wafted into the bedroom. He slowly stretched and groggily made his way down.   
The sight of the plate heaped with bacon, eggs, and pancakes made Will moan a little in the back of his mouth. He walked over to Hannibal and kissed him slowly, running a hand through his ashen-blonde hair. 

Hannibal looked up at him in-dare I say amusement? “And what pray tell, was that for?”

Will just smiled in response and sat down to eat his breakfast, almost inhaling everything in. He ignored Hannibal clicking his teeth in disapproval at the lack of table manners.   
Hannibal had almost gotten rid of the idea of punishing Will after the morning’s kiss, but his table etiquette had pushed it back. Will needed to be disciplined. And Hannibal was ready to carry out the plan. 

‘Will will1 have learned his lesson after this cruel punishment. I will only need to carry it out once.’   
Hannibal watched Will leave, calling out a goodbye as he drove away. He mused at the idea of stopping the punishment, but decided against it. This way, Will would learn.  
***  
At the university, Will sat down to eat the lunch Hannibal had packed for him. He started at the sight of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in place of the normal gourmet meals he had grown to love. Will barked out laughter, ignoring the side glances passing people gave him.

“He’s finally giving me a normal lunch. Maybe I managed to talk some sense into him. Wonder what I did to deserve this.” Will muttered to himself as he bit into the familiar taste of bread and jelly mixed with peanuts. 

He chewed thoughtfully and snorted. “Figures that even his peanut butter tastes like it was made in a gourmet restaurant.”  
***  
Hannibal smiled grimly to himself as Will walked into the kitchen. He expected an outburst of rage, an explanation as to why he had fed him-fed him food made for creatures below pigs, or even an apology in the form of a certain…activity. What he did not expect however, was the hug and the soft gentle kiss to his neck.   
Hannibal blinked in surprise, not moving until Will had pulled away. 

“What was the cause for that?” Hannibal inquired, the hair on the back of his neck rising. Surely this was simply the calm before the storm. 

Will just flashed his pearly white teeth and said, “That was for the PBJ sandwich. Thanks for finally giving me a lunch that won’t make anybody else question my home life. Honestly I didn’t even know you had peanut butter.”

Hannibal’s eyes widened a fraction of a centimeter. “You consider that abomination a gift?”  
The stress he put on the last word made Will’s eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. “Well yeah. It’s what I’ve been asking you to do for months now.”

Then Hannibal proceeded to do the strangest thing Will had ever seen him do (Watching him slaughter a human with the indifference of a butcher to a pig was the norm now). Hannibal brought his hand up to his head, and with a light smacking sound, hit his face with his palm.

Will’s eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline. His incredulous stare followed Hannibal as he walked away in what could only be described as sulking. He could have sworn Hannibal had just muttered “Damn the tablecloth I can just order new ones. I will bathe in his blood and feast on that supple, intoxicating flesh…” as he walked by. 

“Um Hannibal? Love are you all right?”  
***

**Author's Note:**

> Had this unfinished fic stashed away in the dark recesses of my laptop for too long so I thought why not. This was inspired by a random tumblr headcanon I stumbled upon (sorry, forgot the poster). Hope you enjoyed Hannibal's frustration at Will's adorable love for PBJ sandwiches.


End file.
